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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24818587">Take me out, and take me home.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvangelineSR/pseuds/EvangelineSR'>EvangelineSR</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wynonna Earp (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:55:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24818587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvangelineSR/pseuds/EvangelineSR</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For five years Nicole went to the Garden’s gate every day to tell Waverly about her day. Waverly did too. Hand on the gate she would whisper “I’m here”. Both heard nothing but silence every time.<br/>That was until one day when an idea crossed through Waverly’s mind.<br/>...<br/>A flame came alive inside two hearts burning as one. Even as far as they seemed to be, both Nicole and Waverly thought the same thing. Maybe there could be a way for them to be together again, after all.<br/>****<br/>I promise this is not as angsty as it sounds. I hope you can stick around for this sci-fi adventure which also happens to be filled with magic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeremy Chetri/Robin Jett, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holliday</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For five years Nicole went to the Garden’s gate every day to tell Waverly about her day. Waverly did too. Hand on the gate she would whisper “I’m here”. Both heard nothing but silence every time.</p>
<p>That was until one day when an idea crossed through Waverly’s mind as she was sitting on the ground with her back against the gate. She ran her fingers through her wings, plucking one of its feathers and releasing it she whispered: “FIND HER.”</p>
<p>Nicole was sitting at her office with her hands over her head when she felt the tiniest weight landing on her knuckles, warming her heart and freezing her body. She breathed. Time stopped as Nicole cried holding the white feather. She knew what to do. Facing the open window, she kissed the feather, whispered “I LOVE YOU.” and set it free.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Waverly was waiting, savoring the taste of hope for the first time in a timeless forever, safe inside the tree house Doc had built for them.<br/>

“Come on!” she prayed. The wind blew.</p>
<p>Doc arrived running and punching the air with the hand he had broken some time ago. Waverly saw as Doc tried to win a fight against nothing when she suddenly realized the thing attacking Doc was her own feather. Waverly ran, both hands reaching for the tiny piece of her wings.</p>
<p>“Doc, stop! It’s Nicole!” </p>
<p>They were sitting at the small table in the middle of their place. Waverly was holding the feather between her hands as if it was a miracle, Doc was watching Waverly with hopeful eyes. They listened. There was a sound coming from the feather. For Doc it was something like the sound of the ocean coming from a seashell, but for Waverly it was the sound of a soul coming home. Waverly welcomed it and let it fill her. Tears in her eyes, she smiled: “I know, baby.”</p>
<p>A flame came alive inside two hearts burning as one. Even as far as they seemed to be, both Nicole and Waverly thought the same thing. Maybe there could be a way for them to be together again, after all. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Waverly`s wings hurt where the recent loss remained, pink skin pulsing. She sat restless, the blanket of feathers frozen around her.<br/>
Maybe they needed to heal but sitting still wasn`t working. It felt like there was something missing and it was up to Waverly to ease the feeling of emptiness growing inside all the whiteness now surrounding her body.</p>
<p>And yet, Waverly was growing impatient. She was filled with a new hope and not having her wings figuratively jumping with excitement was like ice preventing a flame from spreading. </p>
<p>“It was just a feather! I said I was sorry! I just needed to reach out to her!” She screamed at the wings.</p>
<p>At the sound of those words, the wings were suddenly shaking, sending a feeling through Waverly from the place on her back where they were connected as one and straight to her heart. It was not fear, it was something else, something close to anticipation.</p>
<p>Her wings seemed to be asking for something, demanding something, and Waverly had no idea what it was. As if they had felt her cluelessness, they spread and pulled her up from the floor. She stood there still lost, not knowing what the wings were doing and why. Maybe they had forgiven her and were finally leading her to the place where they could heal. If that was what they were doing, the healing place seemed to be somewhere outside because they were pulling her again.</p>
<p>Waverly did what she had to do. </p>
<p>Walking, or in this case, letting herself be dragged to the entrance of the tree house, she jumped. </p>
<p>Waverly was crashing, that much she knew. Her wings were not responding. They were petrified, and she was too. She didn’t get it, any of it, she had obeyed their pull, she had jumped from the tallest tree in the Garden, and all for what?</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with you?!” Can’t you see we’re falling?! Can’t you see we’re gonna die?!” She screamed.</p>
<p>Wings remained frozen over her body, practically lifeless. </p>
<p>“What else do you want from me?! Is this all a silly tantrum?! Is this about me stealing one of your precious feathers?! Or about me reaching out…sending a message?! She tried, desperately.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>“Come on! Work with me here! Give me something! </p>
<p>The next words brought tears to her eyes as they reached her mouth. “Is this about HER?! Is this about me talking to HER?!</p>
<p>Wings spread open, pulling her back up and back into the blue sky.</p>
<p>Waverly felt her insides struggling to stay in their place, so she took a deep breath to try and settle her stomach for a second as she put everything together in her mind. </p>
<p>“Wait, so this, whatever it’s going on with you, it’s all about…NICOLE?” She asked hesitant and now even more lost.</p>
<p>She was pulled up again. She didn’t want to look down but it was inevitable, she had never been this high before. She looked down and immediately regretted it. In a moment, all sense of comfort was ripped away from her. It was terrifying.  </p>
<p>The view was everything, though. She could literally see everything. Being up there was like being in the opposite of whatever an abyss could be. It was like being everywhere but the abandoned paradise below that now looked like nothing more than the sad backyard of a house nobody wanted to live in. </p>
<p>Waverly felt it all at once, all for the first time in ages.<br/>
It was all air,<br/>
It was all light,<br/>
It was all heat,<br/>
It was all tears,<br/>
It was all freedom,<br/>
It was all just her, and it was all too much.</p>
<p>In that moment, Waverly didn’t know if she liked the idea of an abyss more, but something being born from what felt like ashes deep inside of her mind told her she didn’t. She concentrated and tried to find a flavor in that something as it went down from her mind and through her entire body. It tasted like peace. She found herself longing to enjoy it, and she convinced herself not to feel bad about it.</p>
<p>Letting herself go, wings following, she flew without fighting the taste of freedom for the first time, that same freedom she once made sure to believe impossible in the hostage situation she was in. she soared through the open sky getting a complete view of the Garden, countless of unknown corners opening to her, waiting to be discovered. She promised she would explore all of them with Doc as soon as possible. But first things were first.</p>
<p>“So, your mood at the tree house…it was all about Nicole...?” She asked softly this time.</p>
<p>Wings shivered.</p>
<p>“Ok, it’s not anger, and I really doubt it to be jealousy. You’re buzzing, charged with excitement, but why? It’s Nicole, it’s just Nicole. It’s not like you don’t know who…<br/>
…Oh, my God…you don’t know who Nicole is.”</p>
<p>Her heart broke. She began to fall, slowly, painfully, until she hit the ground softly, Wings embracing her once more, twitching lightly. </p>
<p>Waverly could remember the exact number of times she had cried over Nicole and the memories behind every single one of them. She remembered crying the first night they spent in the Garden, then every single night after, and for months that followed, Doc hugging her every time, never letting go. He cried too.</p>
<p>She also remembered the day that she stopped crying and talking about her, not forgetting, but adapting, coping, keeping her inside as sacred, keeping her fears quiet so they didn’t consume her, so she could concentrate even if only for a second, one second on fighting, on finding a way back to her.</p>
<p>That day had been the day she got her wings.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Flying Lessons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Waverly remembers some of the things she has gone through with her wings as she tries to bond with them to help them heal.</p>
<p>***<br/>It's 1am and I'm kind of drunk, but this seems to be the only time I'm brave enough to upload stuff, so please forgive any baby errors you might find.<br/>ENJOY!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You have to work together, Waverly. You have to work together until you can be together, and for that to happen you’ll need to show them who you are. They were born from you, not with you, but you still need to be as one for you to be who you always were meant to be. It’s not as hard as it sounds, you just need to let it happen. They feed from what feeds your heart and soul: everything you are, what you do, what you love, who you love, your memories and your goals. Your will is their will, your passion is their fuel. They are not on you, they are not a burden. Being you is never a burden, kid. Your essence runs through them. This is who you’ve always been inside.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“They are also a force for good, you’ll learn that in time. Give them a reason, a motive, a destination. Give them something to protect, and they will not fail you. They were created to open ways through heaven, earth and even hell if necessary, to get what your heart desires, to get you where you belong.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Never forget that they are yours to take care of. Cherish them, clean them constantly. Every feather is full of life, your life. If one of them is hurt, you are hurt; and if you hurt one, all of them will cry. Calm them, make them feel safe; they will do the same for you. They are not an armor, but they are practically indestructible. They will protect like a perpetual embrace, like a shield. Let them.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“I know this feels like a lot, kid, but you can take it, you are so brave. In the end it all comes to you learning how to be proud and to be proud you need to be vulnerable, you need to show yourself, you need to exist comfortably in everything you are. Create a home within you. Once you’re safe you will be unstoppable…<br/>…In the meantime you’ll have to learn how to control who can see your wings.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“When it comes to flying…”</p>
<p>                                                                                                       ***********</p>
<p>Sitting on the ground with Wings hugging her all filled with expectancy, Waverly went through her father’s words in her mind. She knew she needed to make the bond, and she didn’t feel reluctant about it now as she once felt. Time had passed and she had come to accept the reality of her situation. She had lost things, mainly time, time that she could have used on doing so many other things, especially things with Nicole. She didn’t think she had lost everything, or that they had lost this battle yet, but she didn’t think she had won something either, except for her relationship with Doc, which had grown into something precious and unbreakable. But now, she was beginning to think that maybe her wings were not a complete loss, she was starting to believe that they could be a win.</p>
<p>When Doc first convinced her to have flying lessons a long time ago, after they had spent in the Garden what seemed to them like a couple of months, they chose to build a method around the idea of the wings being a weapon, one they could use to get out of there. They thought this idea would work since it was something Doc understood and something Waverly could work with without having to get fond of the wings. It was not that she didn’t like them, she just didn’t want to get too attached. She didn’t want to get attached to anything in that place. The way she saw it, the wings were a “Garden thing”, a part of the Garden, not a part of her. She liked the idea of using them as a weapon and then getting rid of them once they served their purpose, so she decided that she would give her best to learn and luckily for her Doc was there. She couldn’t ask for a better teacher.</p>
<p>Not everything had been smooth with Doc, though. He didn’t understand sometimes. And now, she could see that she was the one refusing to. </p>
<p>The memories came alive inside her mind…</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>“You are the weapon, baby girl.” He told her when she crashed for the millionth time into the safety net he had built with roots and branches. “It`s not in the elbow or in the wrist even. You wanna know my biggest secret? I don’t hold the gun. I am the gun. You crash in the exact moment you stop being yourself and start giving instructions that you don’t need to give. You don’t have to tell yourself to be yourself, you just have to let yourself be. It’s something you can’t avoid or run from. It’s inevitable. It takes everything in you, but it is what will make you win everything in return. So, you need to stop telling your wings to be what they already are. They were made to do this, they are just new and full of innocence, like we all are when we start living. Trust me, they are not scared to throw themselves into adventure, and nothing says “adventure” like contemplating the possibility of flying, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>Waverly closed her eyes and remembered the first time she made love with Nicole. She flew alright. She always did. Yes, the adventure possibilities were endless.</p>
<p>In the second lesson, Doc kept trying to make Waverly understand the true connection that existed between her and her wings and why she needed to complete it, but Waverly didn’t want to understand, she just wanted to go back to how it all was before the nightmare they were living in started. Why couldn’t Doc, or the spirit of her father, see that? What could make them think she would ever want to connect with something like that?</p>
<p>The lessons continued and sometimes Doc tried fun approaches, like games. Waverly was always thankful for those lessons because at least they could have fun for a while. </p>
<p>Doc had made a slingshot a while ago, a complex one that could shoot rocks with an impressive precision and speed. At first, he had planned to use it to get something for both of them to eat, but after Waverly had stated that no animal or magical creature would be killed on her watch Doc used it to keep himself entertained hitting safe targets all over the Garden. So, on game day, both of them would climb the tallest trees, Doc would shoot a rock as far as he could and Waverly would try to fly and catch the rock before it hit the target. </p>
<p>It didn’t always work, but one thing was clear from the start: Waverly was really fast. Still, she lost almost every time, and Doc loved to win. </p>
<p>“Lord, I love my slingshot! Don’t you love it, baby girl? I really don’t think I’ve loved anything else like I love this baby. It’s just the best!” Doc told Waverly while he celebrated. He had the biggest smile on his face. He looked like a child sometimes.</p>
<p>Something about it made Waverly roll her eyes.</p>
<p>“Even Wynonna?”  </p>
<p>Waverly realized what she had just said only after it had come out of her mouth. She hated being this cold to Doc for all the wrong reasons. He was just trying to help and the damn slingshot was indeed really cool. Doc was not hurting anyone with it, he was not hurting anyone in any way. He was only using it to have some fun. It was just a toy, but it was also the only thing keeping Doc sane. He had gone through his own personal hell the first weeks in the Garden, and somehow he had managed to stay himself after the worst days were over, not to mention the countless times he had saved her life. Waverly didn’t want to think about all the ways they almost died in that place. The point was that Waverly couldn’t be prouder of him, so why was she asking stupid, hurtful questions? Maybe because she was scared, maybe she thought that having fun meant forgetting. Deep inside she wanted Doc to answer that it didn’t.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” She said looking down at her fingers.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, baby girl.” Doc answered as he stayed frozen in shock and surprise, his eyes filled with tears. </p>
<p>“I love her.” He said after a moment. “Lord in heaven knows that I love her. I don’t think I deserve to, though. I don’t think I deserve to love someone as good as her, and I’m damn sure I don’t deserve to be loved by her. All my life I was nothing but waste and selfishness, then she came and freed me without even knowing.”</p>
<p>“I know I made mistakes, and I’m willing to pay for them, even if it means not having her by my side; but it’s just that once you lose your dignity it becomes almost impossible to remember anything good. For so many years I used to forget who I was meant to be because I had been nothing but bad. But I remember now. She made me remember, you all made me remember. You all saved me.”</p>
<p>“You told me I was supposed to be a hero, and Wynonna told me I was supposed to be a good man. You have always believed in me and I will never forget that again, I will not let the demons of my fears make me forget it. I don’t know if I will ever be worthy of being your hero, and maybe I will never be worthy of being your sister’s man, but I will sure try, Waverly. I promise. I promise I will live to be the person you all believe I can be.”</p>
<p>“Now, I’m old, older than the oldest men around, I’ve loved good things in my life, and I’ve loved good people, too, but I’ve never loved anyone else like I love Wynonna Stubborn-Heart Earp. She is everything that makes me wanna be me. She is all that I want. I touched her once and she let me in, she let me be part of everything she was, she always did, even when she didn’t have to. I don’t understand why she’s happy with what I bring when I come home, but I’ll always find a way to bring it if it means I get to see her smile for just a second.” </p>
<p>“So, everything that’s precious to me, everything I have, sweet Jesus, even my hat! Everything is hers if she wants it; and everything I am is also hers if she ever chooses to take me. So I remember, and I hold on, and I try every day for her, because she deserves it. She deserves the best, and baby girl, I am the best.” </p>
<p>He smiled a little sad smile and continued, trying not to show all the pain inside his heart. </p>
<p>“I’m not scared anymore, Waverly, not even of spending eternity in hell when I die. All hell is welcome as long as it comes for me after I get the chance to help all of you get the heaven you deserve, even if it doesn’t include me. Your family is my heaven, and not even hell will take it away from me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, sometimes I wonder if I have lived more than my share, if I have lived too much. I was never meant to live in this time, in HER time, but still my heart tells me we are meant to be together. It tells me she’s the one. You know why? Because we have fun together. We always have fun. She can be her worst self with me and vice versa and still we will always find a way to have fun through all the shit. I know playing with this slingshot is stupid, but I don’t want to forget how to have fun. I don’t want to forget her. I won’t.”</p>
<p>He moved to sit closer to Waverly and held her while both of them cried.</p>
<p>Waverly had not meant to hurt Doc with her words. She hated seeing him sad, that had been one of the reasons why they had promised a long time ago that they would stop mentioning them, Nicole and Wynonna.</p>
<p>She hugged him with all the strength she had.</p>
<p>“You`re not the best, Doc, you`re the worst.” Waverly teased him, punching him softly on his arm. “Don’t you dare think that you’ve lived too much, you haven’t even lived enough simply because you haven’t lived the life you deserve, yet. You deserve a life, you deserve us. You can still be a hero, Doc Holliday. You already are. As for miss Wynonna Oblivious Earp, I know she loves you. You both just need one single freaking night without demons, drama or death to figure it out.”</p>
<p>Doc sat straight trying not to show the heart that was bleeding all over. He cleared his throat and stood up.</p>
<p>“Ok, I think that’s enough silly romance for today. The point is that you fly now. And that’s all you need to see to understand the big mystery behind it. Stop fighting the mystery and let it reveal itself to you. Just fly, baby girl. Something tells me you don’t even need to learn how to.”</p>
<p>“Well, as long as it doesn’t involve bonding, I’m willing to try. Besides, I`m still sure they’ll be gone once we get out of here.” Waverly said still not willing to let go completely.</p>
<p>“You don`t know that, but you do know three things: they are here now, we need them, and, good or bad, you are the one in control.</p>
<p>That was something Waverly could understand. </p>
<p>She improved with time, but always sticking to the “weapon” method.</p>
<p>Doc was convinced that, even if they got out of the Garden someday, the wings were not going anywhere, but he stopped trying to convince Waverly of it.</p>
<p>The lessons got somehow easier after that. They even got fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, baby girl, remember that it`s all in the hips. You can do this. I know you`re a good dancer, that`ll help. Wynonna did mention some cheerleading routine you once did…”</p>
<p>“WAIT, WHAT?!”</p>
<p>Doc laughed as he reached to save Waverly from the safe net. Sure, Doc would totally say Wynonna`s name if it meant he could make Waverly laugh to bring her back from the dark voids in her mind, and Waverly thanked him every time. Laughing made everything bad look small, and made everything small look full with hope. It was the same thing Wynonna always did in their hardest times. She just kept finding something for them to laugh.  </p>
<p>***************</p>
<p>She had lived so many adventures with her wings without even wanting to live with them at all. And now, here she was, unable to deny the innocence that filled every inch of them. </p>
<p>“I`m sorry.” She whispered as she reached to hold Wings tighter. “I was horrible to you, but I see you now, and I promise I’ll be better. I still don’t understand a lot about this whole situation we’re in, but if you give me one more chance I promise I’ll work with you. No more using you as a weapon. Especially when you are clearly not one. You are good. God! You are amazing!”</p>
<p>She laughed when Wings tickled her as a result of the crazy way in which they were moving all over the place. </p>
<p>There was only one thing to do now. The difference was that this time, she really wanted to do it.</p>
<p>“So, Nicole, huh? You want to know about Nicole…” </p>
<p>Wings moved ever so slightly, not letting Waverly out of their soft embrace. Waverly smiled thinking that they would totally nod frantically if they could. She didn’t know if they were holding her that close to comfort her in advance of what was coming or just to be able to “listen” to every detail. Regardless of the reason, it made her feel safe. </p>
<p>She realized that if her love story was something that could help someone heal, even if that someone was a pair of wings, then maybe that story was still real and true, something that would never go away like she feared, but something that could always be there as long as it was useful. </p>
<p>She still couldn’t see how it could be useful. All she knew was that it was needed, and she was going to deliver it in the best possible way.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath</p>
<p>“Ready to hear the greatest love story ever?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for sticking around! <br/>Next chapter will be all cuteness and fluff. Imagine Waverly telling WayHaught's love story in the cutest way possible! Ok, cute AND hot.</p>
<p>Also, don't worry, I'll explain about Julian somewhere around chapter 4 or 5. <br/>So many mysteries!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The fairytale</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Apparently, listening to a Taylor Swift song can make you write a WayHaught 7k fairytale. </p><p>Enjoy.</p><p>There's a part where it gets a little bit smutty, fyi. </p><p>Also, if you guess which song it was, you get a teddy bear.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Where the fuck did he put it?”</p><p>Yeah, Waverly was nervous. How could she not be? Visiting ghosts can do that. Looking into your mind for all the photo albums you hid years ago can do that, letting a memory touch you again can do that.</p><p>Being two seconds away from talking about Nicole Haught can do that.</p><p>Waverly was now in Doc’s favorite place. “Favorite” as in one of the few spots where he could go be by himself. It was there where he went to find some peace, it was there where he went to play with all the wooden toys he made for Alice, it was there where he went to hold on, and it was there where he kept his booze.</p><p>A long time ago, Doc had created some kind of beverage with roots and plants. The first year at Garden, he would get painfully drunk at day, crying in Waverly’s arms, and spend the night whispering Wynonna’s name. Waverly wished she was that brave. She knew that if she were then she could do the same, she could go through the pain, but she wasn’t, and she couldn’t, so she never did. Going through the pain of having lost Nicole was like opening a fountain of unknown shadows Waverly knew she was not going to be able to close.</p><p>Doc stopped drinking eventually, and now he just kept some booze in case of an “emergency”. Well, this was an emergency, all right.</p><p>“Where the fuck did he put it?” Waverly said again. </p><p>Wings were still, loose on Waverly`s back, acting like a kid half expecting the best bed time story ever half scared that they had done something wrong. Waverly could feel them, all clueless but willing.</p><p>“You know, everything would be easier if you could just…help.” She said, turning her head to look at them, trying to lighten the mood with some dry sarcasm.</p><p>Wings shook behind her.</p><p>She remembered her father’s words: “They can be a weapon…”</p><p>She closed her eyes and tried to imagine the exact point on her back where she was connected with her own blanket of pristine feathers. </p><p>“Ok, so, umm, do you think you could, maybe, do something to help me find Doc’s booze?”</p><p>Wings perked up, paying attention.</p><p>“It’s a bottle made of glass.” She whispered to Wings, picturing the bottle in her mind, like the time they found it in an abandoned cave, along with a bunch of other old, forgotten items. “It has some amber liquid inside, it smells sweet and strong. Please. Help me.”</p><p>That was all it took.</p><p>Wings pushed Waverly forward and all of the sudden Waverly was just a puppet under curious strings on a mission. Waverly knew Wings couldn’t smell, but she couldn’t help smiling as she saw how they were acting. They looked like a puppy looking for a piece of meat under a sofa. She had no other choice but to be dragged all around the place, crashing into giant trees. </p><p>“Hey! Gentle, please!”</p><p>Wings stopped in front of one of the tallest one. They were vibrating softly. Waverly sighed. </p><p>“There’s nothing here. It’s just a tree.” She said as she tried to turn around, but Wings wouldn’t let her.</p><p>“Look! It’s just a tree. I’m looking for a bottle.”</p><p>Wings moved around her. close to her face. Using the end of each one of their sides, they made her look at a specific spot on the tree. Waverly focused and saw thin lines carved on the wood. It was a tiny door. She used one of her fingers to open it and she saw exactly what she was looking for.</p><p>“Wow! You CAN help!” She said smiling. “Thank you.”</p><p>Wings grew with pride as Waverly sat down on the soft, green ground with her back pressed to the tree. She could feel the tree molding to her, making her more comfortable. Waverly did nothing, she was now used to the magic in the garden, most of it was vicious, but she had to accept that some of it was friendly. She never tried to figure out what triggered which. She didn’t care. As she open the bottle she thought maybe it was time she started.</p><p>A sweet and strong smell came out of it, and Wings moved in a way that made Waverly think they were scared.</p><p>“First time drinking?” she joked. “Well, I’m about to open a fountain of memories that will certainly turn into a storm. I just need some courage. But if you don’t like the smell I can close the bottle and do this raw.”</p><p>Wings stayed still for a moment before moving around Waverly, reaching for the bottle and pushing it up to her mouth.</p><p>“Hey! Hey! Ok!” Waverly said stopping an imminent disaster. “I get it, you’re ok with it. Thanks.”</p><p>She reached out and ruffled the feathers around her. Wigs were pretty much ok with that, too.</p><p>“You like that, huh? I’ll keep it in mind.” Waverly smiled.</p><p>She took the first sip and she let herself be filled with the familiar warmth.</p><p>“God, I had missed this.”</p><p>** </p><p>Time passed and Waverly kept drinking. Sitting on the ground, she couldn’t tell just how or even if she was already drunk. She felt the same, so she stayed there for a while, thinking about things and the right way to do them. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be sedated for this. </p><p>With a smirk on her face she laughed about how it had always been impossible to run from her heart. She looked down at the ground and reached for it with her fingers. She stayed there, drawing lines, Wings tight around her.</p><p>“I miss her, too.”</p><p>She draw more random shapes on the dirt to keep herself from crying. She shook her head. </p><p>“But you are here for a fairytale, right?”</p><p>Wings barely moved. Waverly smiled at herself as she started drawing intentional shapes. When she was done there was a small doodle of a girl printed on the ground.</p><p>“Well, this one begins with a girl, as many fairytales do…” she began to narrate, feeling Wings buzzing around her. “Just a little girl.”</p><p> </p><p>“It begins with a girl who is so little that no one knows how much of the universe can fit inside of her, so little that it takes her some time to see it, too. </p><p>She grows, she loves, she takes, she spends her days daydreaming of taking what she longs to love, she dreams of it being as easy as taking lost coins from the floor, she dreams because there’s nothing else to do when there’s nothing for you to do, at least not from where you’re standing. She dreams of the smell of something new, of everything new, like a whole new universe coming to fill the void she seems to have been born with.</p><p>She fights the feeling she gets every time she goes out into her tiny world, that feeling of nothing wanting to be taken by her, that feeling of being wanted only by the things that live where there’s nothing else. Some days she loses the fight, sometimes she gives herself to it, sometimes she ends her day feeling nothing.</p><p>So, when her Daddy hits her, she takes it, but it takes nothing from her. And when her sister Willa screams at her, she cries her love out, sometimes to reach her, sometimes to spit it out like poison. And when her sister Wynonna leaves, well, she lets her, she understands. She feels her heart breaking. She survives. </p><p>She stands outside every night and she prays, not to see, but to be seen, maybe by someone, maybe by that universe she dreams of, maybe by everything she knows she can keep safe. She prays for everything to stop being everyone else’s but hers. She prays for her to get her chance, because somewhere deep inside, she knows that she is not the one waiting, she knows she is the one being looked for. She’s just being looked for in all the places she’s not at.</p><p>She grows up, even if she’s not sure she’s growing.</p><p>How could she know she’s growing if there’s no one to grow with?</p><p>She watches, she learns. She learns everything she can, hoping that the universe will find her sooner. She likes learning, she likes knowing, she likes helping with what she knows. She decides to do everything she can with what she’s got, even if sometimes she ends up having no time to do it for herself, even if she ends up doing nothing but watching time go by slowly until it starts freezing around her, until the only one moving is the world she’s helping.</p><p>She lives, she tries to convince herself she’s living. She plays the game set in front of her and she feels like a kid eating the simple oatmeal placed on their plate. She likes it sometimes, she needs no convincing sometimes. She lives the game sometimes. She thinks it is not that bad at night. </p><p>She likes when she’s kissed for the first time, she likes when she’s touched for the first time. Yeah, it’s not that bad every time. She tells herself that maybe the universe she is waiting for is just all those not-so-bad moments she gets. She tricks her mind sometimes. Her heart on the other hand…</p><p>She is kind, the kindest, and the game she’s playing, she is winning. She learns how to win at everything while she gets nothing. She dreams of all those lost coins she picked up from the ground as a child. No one sees the fire burning in her core longing for one of them. </p><p>She lives the game for so long that she starts believing it, she starts being it, and soon enough she forgets to do what she wants, she stops looking for what she’d love to do, she forgets how to take. Everyone thinks she’s winning because everyone is winning her. Her burning core threatens to soften, even when its deepest desire is to ravish. She goes to bed at night and prays to be able to believe that a million crumbles can become a feast, but there’s no way to trick the hunger of a soul.</p><p>She wants to step out into the open sky, like when she was just a little girl. She tries to remember why she used to do it. She sits on her bed and prays for someone to come remind her, for someone to come tell her they remembered her. She falls to the floor and cries, every tear a wish she wished once upon a time. She wonders if her wishes remembered her. If only she could wish one more time, maybe she could remember herself, too. She looks up at the ceiling, searching for the sky, but all she sees are all the visions of cruelty that made her blind, that made her the person she is now, and she hates it. She wants to break that ceiling along with her fears. </p><p>She stands up, she walks, she turns the key on the door, she opens it, and she breathes.</p><p>She counts her blessings as she counts her steps, they are not enough for her to stop walking, because they are not enough to take her home. She cries again, and her tears outnumber the raindrops falling around her. If only she had one lost coin. She wonders how many tears a coin is worth, how many blessings. She would give them all for one more wish. </p><p>She runs under the rain, her blessings and her tears pressed safely against her heart. She lets herself be again. She sees a thousand puddles around her, a thousand wishing wells. She chooses the one she’s standing on and allows herself be the wish. She drops all her false blessings and all her cruel tears. </p><p>She is empty now. She is ready. </p><p>“I’m here” she says. “Come find me.”</p><p>The little girl becomes a woman. She doesn’t play the game anymore, she just lingers on the board. </p><p>She goes to work one day, not knowing the universe is on its way, not knowing that everything was two seconds away from getting to her.</p><p> </p><p>Waverly stopped.</p><p>“This is the part where Nicole comes in.”</p><p> Wings closer tighter, preparing themselves, and also comforting Waverly. Both of them were already feeling a little bit dizzy from the liquid running through them.</p><p> Waverly closed her eyes and forced herself to see the scene in her mind. That day at Shorty’s, just another bad day, just another day with her clumsy body all covered with beer, just another day. The day her life changed forever, the day her life began.</p><p>She could feel the booze moving through her veins in the same way she had felt Nicole’s handshake. She drank some more to swallow her tears.</p><p>“So, she comes in like a dashing, sparkling knight…and she asks for a cappuccino!” Waverly couldn’t help but laugh at the memory, Wings wiggling on her back. She remembered Nicole telling her she was so nervous that the moment she was back in her car she had screamed at herself for almost five minutes. “A cappuccino, Nicole?! Really?! It’s a freaking saloon!”</p><p>Waverly sighed and tried to concentrate on her feelings. She dragged her finger through the ground once again, managing to draw a simple doodle of Nicole next to the one of herself. Her heart settled.</p><p>She continued.</p><p>“So, she comes in, she asks for a cappuccino and also for the one she wants to keep for the rest of her life. She says she doesn’t want to wait, but I can see her already doing it just for me. I try to tell her I had a crazy night, a crazy half-empty life. She just laughs and tells me she wishes she could have come with. I just stare in wonder, thinking she can’t be serious, but realizing she very well might be. I see how the everything I had always wished for, the same one I was now terrified to confront, is finally here. I try to play with the new sensation of horror in the air that we practically share from how close she is standing to me, but I end up paralyzed. There’s no game to play here, not with her. There’s just life to live.</p><p>The girl who once dreamed of being wished now feels like she is being chased down by the love she doesn’t know whether she is able to take anymore.  </p><p>In a frozen second I learn that I can be a coward. I learn that I can be scared. I learn that I can stop breathing. I learn that I can be ok with that, as long as I can keep looking into those brown eyes for one more second.</p><p>Nicole stands there, she just stands there, so close I can already feel my dry soul being showered with all that she seems to see in me. </p><p>I learn about overrated sanity, I learn how to look at what I want.</p><p>I lay in bed that night, fever high, and I blame my blood. I put my shaking hands down, and I give them the answer they keep begging for. Yes, yes to everything. There is no turning back now. Time starts running now. Endless days I spend, body frozen, blood running, terrified I won’t be able to contain it, terrified I will just bleed out, terrified she won’t even find out. I pray for the damn world to slow down, for time to wait for me this time, to wait until I’m ready to give the first step into my life.</p><p>But life, death, and Nicole Haught don’t want to wait, and I can feel them around me, reaching out. I choose the one I want to make mine. The first time I touch her hand leaves me thinking how “barely” can sometimes mean “all”. That’s the first time I beg her to take me out. She looks at me and I stop drifting away. </p><p>She asks for me with every look. She asks to be let in. Even from afar, she stretches my heart. </p><p>She asks me to be myself, and I tremble. But as I lay in bed, I think maybe I can do it now. I don’t sleep, thinking about her soft skin around me, and about who I was before I knew I could be who I was meant to.</p><p>Crazy nights, crazy fever, crazy heat, crazy love waking up inside of me.</p><p>Crazy shaking hands, crazy speeding heart, crazy blood fighting to rush in her direction.</p><p>Crazy Nicole Haught already willing to give me her life, crazy me already dying to take it, crazy desire to merge with it, to make it larger, to make it mine forever. </p><p>I don’t die from wanting her, and I get angry that it just makes me want her more. She lets me get angry and I breathe for the first time in years. </p><p>I stop thinking then, and I make a choice.”</p><p> </p><p>Waverly felt like floating now. She looked down and saw she was indeed floating, Wings half spread behind. She would have screamed if she hadn’t had all that booze numbing her fears. She laughed instead.</p><p>“Yeah, the next part I can’t coat in sugar. The next part is just me JUMPING at all that soft, sweet, hot body of hers and taking what I wanted right there inside the Sheriff’s office.”</p><p>Wings dropped her to the ground unceremoniously, losing all previous concentration.</p><p>“OUCH! It was just a kiss! We didn’t, I mean, when I say I took what I wanted I mean her heart! Well, giving it a second thought, it was not JUST a kiss. It was everything.”</p><p>Waverly smiled. “Shall I continue?”</p><p>Wings spread as if taking a breath before hugging her once more.</p><p>“So, she asks me out on a Thursday, and all the expectation smells like new. The smell fills my lungs as I sit on my bed, waiting for her to come pick me up, a dark part of me wishing she calls to cancel the whole thing, wishing she calls to cancel my whole life, wishing she self-combusts driving past the homestead revealing her demonic self. I shake that thought as I stand up and go look at myself in the mirror. All I see is just a girl, the same girl who thought all there was for her to do in this world was dreaming. I remember the look in Nicole’s eyes the moment she felt my lips for the first time. No, I was never just a girl, I was always everything she was looking for. I’m ready.</p><p>She waits outside of my window with all that spark in her eyes, and she has the nerve to stand there in her uniform. I stare at her and take it all back, I could never be ready for that. She smiles at me and I convince myself I can get ready as we go. No more waiting.</p><p>I watch her do the most mundane things and all I want to do is ask her if she knows what she’s doing to me. She hangs her head over a vending machine and I die. Her shape shapes my feelings. She is all glowing, she is all blue, she is all new, and she is all mine. The price was low: every false blessing I got for my very own shiny bad boy. I laugh at the joy late justice can bring. I look at her and I see that maybe it’s not that late, maybe I can make this last forever. I let her kiss me at least for the first hundred lifetimes.</p><p>I try not to freak out when she leaves me at my porch. I realize I will not be able to keep myself apart.</p><p>Our great adventure begins.</p><p>She’s there for me, she gets me, she earps. She goes to me when I get hurt, and she knows, she always knows how to heal my wounds.”</p><p>Waverly smiled at that part, thinking of one hot day at the barn.</p><p>“She goes where the danger is, so I know I will always be found. </p><p>She gets shot one time…”</p><p>Wings practically jumped at that part.</p><p>“… AND I learn my love is unkillable. I learn to rest for the first time in my life. I patch her skin and I enjoy being the lucky one.</p><p>We fight, I scream at her and she shuts me out. I lay alone at night terrified, because I know she could win, she could just leave. She could leave me here to burn in my own cold forever, but she comes back to me, she stays, she contains me, she tells me I’m the best. She looks at me and I can see how for her I could win, too. I make a silent promise to stay forever.”</p><p>Waverly stopped.</p><p>“This would be the perfect time for you to rip yourself from my back and fly away, you know?” Waverly warned Wings as she let her smirk take over her face.</p><p>Wings stay there, still and calm.</p><p>“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, buddy.” </p><p>Maybe she was the one wishing she could fly away from this part of her tale. She could already feel the heat building up in her stomach, this time having nothing to do with booze. She put the almost empty bottle on the ground and tried her best to remain calmed as she let the memory of Nicole’s skin on her skin fill her from within.</p><p>“God! The way I used to torture her! The way she endured! The way she challenged me!” </p><p>Wings went stiff, feeling what Waverly was feeling. Waverly laughed, loose by the booze.</p><p>“Told ya.” She said. </p><p>“Ok, fuck it! No more poetics. You want to know who Nicole Haught is? Nicole Haught is many splendored things, many hot things, all the things that own my blood and makes it dance inside my body.</p><p>You want to know who Nicole Haught is?</p><p>She is everything she does to my body, the way I dance around her, memorizing every inch of her with my tongue. She is the way she lays still as I taste her, as I keep her where I want her with the strength of my hunger. She is every moan, every silence that gives my life every sense of meaning. She is all the words she never says, and the way she looks as she comes just for me. She is all the ways in which she convinces me that what we are doing is really happening, she is everything she does on her knees. </p><p>She is the way she makes me wet from a distance, her eyes whispering her secret plans for me. </p><p>She is the way I feed from her until I believe I can live forever. She is the ripping of our clothes, the gripping of my hands on her breasts, the licking of her tongue on my core. She is the way she stretches me and the way she fills me. She is all teeth, all sweat, and all nails. She is pure strength. She is the rock I crash into like a wild ocean. She is the way she lets me know I’ll never be too much.</p><p>She is the way she melts me and turns me into mud and water. She is the way she craves me, the way she carves me with her fingers, looking at me as if I could disappear, taking me as if she just found her artistic calling, begging me to let her fulfill it on me. She is the way I bite her as she shapes me, the way I drag my nails across her back, the way I come when she says the words. </p><p>She is the way she endures the sweet pain of it all, the way she screams but doesn’t let go, the way she begs but doesn’t ask me to stop, the way she explodes when I tell her to. </p><p>She is the way I hate everything that is not her legs trembling, her breath shaking. She is the way she calms me down. </p><p>She is the way I pray for everything around me to be just her. She is the way I rest buried inside the tight home I find between her legs. She is the way I shape her form within. </p><p>She is the way we burn but never die out. She is my favorite reason to be. She is the fun of it all. She is all the ways in which we are, all the ways in which we stay. </p><p>She is my thirst. She is my madness. She is my peace. She is my everyday.</p><p>She is my Nicole.” Waverly finished. </p><p>**</p><p>“So, there it is. The fairytale you asked for.” She said after a few minutes. She chose to keep her eyes closed, because she was too drunk to focus. </p><p>“Did you like it? Did it made you feel better? Are you gonna stop this tantrum madness now?</p><p>She didn’t know who she was talking too, anymore.</p><p>She felt it coming, the storm, the tears. She didn’t do anything to stop them. She just stayed there, sitting on the ground, crying, drunk and alone until she realized she was not.</p><p>“Nicole was always the one waiting for me. Fuck, she is the one waiting for me. She IS waiting for me.”</p><p>She cried until she fell asleep, Wings falling over of her. </p><p>**</p><p>“Waverly?!”</p><p>Time had passed and the worst had, too.<br/>
Time had also begun for the first time in what looked like ages. </p><p>“Waverly?!”</p><p>But Waverly didn’t want to be awake just yet.</p><p>“WAVERLY!”</p><p>She just needed five more minutes.</p><p>She felt her whole world shaking as she felt two big hands landing on her shoulders, pulling her into a hard embrace.</p><p>“Waverly! Baby girl! Are you alright?!” She heard Doc’s words hitting her like stones to her brain. </p><p>Damn booze.</p><p>“Ye..e..s. I think so. I mean, I am.” She managed to say.</p><p>Doc wasn’t convinced. He held her away from him and looked for any wound or injury. Once he made sure she was ok he sighed.</p><p>“Waverly Earp! You cannot do this to me! You can’t just go outside without letting me know and then disappear for one whole day!”</p><p>“One whole day?” Waverly asked as she struggled to open her eyes. </p><p>It was dark already. She felt bad for Doc. They had a system perfectly built so they were safe, and a big part of it was both of them knowing were the other was at all times. She looked at him with puffy eyes and lowered her head.</p><p>“I’m sorry. My wings were acting strange and I wanted to do something about it. I figured out what they needed, what I had to do. One thing led to another and I ended up here. Time just flew. I didn’t mean to scare you, Doc. I’m sorry.” </p><p>Doc raised her head with his hand and Waverly could see he was still worried, and mostly puzzled.</p><p>“And this thing you had to do. Did it have to involve some, or a lot, of my magic whiskey?”</p><p>Waverly nodded. She could feel her stomach turning and her eyes burning.</p><p>“Did it work?”</p><p>Waverly nodded again.</p><p>“Well, what was it? What did they need?” Doc asked.</p><p>Waverly felt her stomach about to explode.</p><p>“Nicole. They needed Nicole.”</p><p>She couldn’t see Doc’s shocked look, or the way his mouth opened and closed at least four times, because she was suddenly on her feet, running to the other side of Doc’s secret place. Once she was done throwing up she turned around and saw Doc frozen, still kneeling on the ground.</p><p>“We need to talk, Doc.”</p><p>Doc tried many times to take her home, to convince her that they could talk once they were safe back at the tree house, but Waverly was having none of that. She couldn’t even stop herself from walking in circles, she couldn’t stop her mind from working again, her heart from screaming a million possibilities, or her soul from pouring hope. She was going to let it drown that whole damned place. </p><p>When Doc tried for the last time, Waverly pushed him with both hands on his chest.</p><p>“Stop, Doc. Just, stop! I’m not going anywhere! We are not going anywhere! Can’t you see? Because I can see, Doc! I can see again! I can see it all! I can see them!”</p><p>Doc looked terrified, so she walked to him and took his face between her hands.</p><p>“Doc, we are getting out of here.”</p><p>Doc’s jaw opened in a way that almost made Waverly burst with laughter. </p><p>**</p><p>Doc listened to her with the same care and love he always did. Waverly felt warm and understood. She thanked the universe for her best friend. She knew she couldn’t have survived that place without him. She knew she was not gonna be able to do what she had to without him either. </p><p>When she was done, Doc just hugged her tight and began walking with her by his side, his arm over her shoulders. Walking through the path they knew so well, Doc turned to her and placed a kiss on her head.</p><p>“Are you still drunk?” he asked her.</p><p>“I’m still a lot of things I wish I wasn’t.” Waverly answered. </p><p>She was feeling strange and uneasy. She shook herself from Doc’s embrace.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Doc. It’s just that…You know I mean it, right?”</p><p>“You mean what?”</p><p>“That I’m sorry!” Waverly screamed.</p><p>She didn’t know what was happening, why she was losing control like that. Doc tried to reach for her but she pushed him again.</p><p>“Stop! Stop being so good to me! Don’t you understand what happened?! Don’t you see what I did?!”</p><p>“Baby girl, it’s ok.” Doc tried.</p><p>“NO, IT’S NOT, DOC! JESUS! I gave up! I gave up on Nicole! I gave up on Wynonna! I gave up on you! I gave up on me!”</p><p>“Even if that is true, Waverly, you were not the only one.” Doc tried again.</p><p>“Oh, really? Come on, Doc, be honest. Look at you. Look at everything you do every day. You build weapons with what you can find, you train, you go looking for wood and you spend every free second at your secret place building the most beautiful toys for Alice.”</p><p>Doc closed his eyes, resisting the pain of listening to his daughter’s name.</p><p>“What do I do, Doc?” Waverly continued. “Nothing. I’ve been doing nothing for so long. I tried to convince myself that I was holding on, that I was staying, but this is not staying, this is accepting my defeat and all the lies that came with it. I learned to wake up and convince myself that I was fine, but I’m not fine, Doc. I lied to myself, I lied so I didn’t have to say good bye, I lied so I didn’t have to go through the feeling of losing Nicole.</p><p>I chose not to do the things I knew I had to because those where the ones that scared me the most. As time went by I confused fighting with losing, so I chose to freeze so I never had to hurt. I know it sounds so stupid, but I thought I could stop time like that, I thought I could stop the whole world if I stopped moving. You know, five years can pass, one second at a time.</p><p>I let myself be shut down again, because it was all I knew before her. I’m the same girl I was back then. That little girl playing the game that was set in front of her. Same girl, different board. </p><p>So I told you I was fine, I told you to keep your hope. I told you all that while I was keeping dark secrets in my heart. I’m done with all the lies, Doc. I’m done with all the secrets. I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep the ghosts of everything that’s still out there waiting for us. No more sneaking to the Garden gate every night just to let her go again, just to accept this fate again, just to seal myself in here again. </p><p>I see now that there’s no other cruelty here than the one I chose to give. I’m the spirit of our family and I abandoned all of you. I was selfish. I turned this into the perfect tragedy. Once again I got tricked by an illusion, but I won’t be tricked anymore. I will let myself be scared. We need to get scared again, Doc. Maybe this won’t work, maybe we will have to say goodbye, but not just yet. And maybe all of you will never forgive me for giving up, but I will still fight. I will still fight for something real, even if it breaks my heart. </p><p>I will still fight to give Nicole a change to take me out of here, just like I did before. </p><p>We are gonna break this place, Doc. I know it can be done. I don’t care whose rules it follows, if one of my feathers could break them, then we can, too. </p><p>We were always scared of screwing everything up, Nicole and I. But after spending the whole freaking day reliving our story, I can see that fear is bullshit! Because to achieve something you need to try first, and we never had, we never did, we never will. </p><p>The only thing we should be scared of is spending the rest of our lives in this cursed place! We go around acting as if we are lucky that we are not the ones rolling the dice, and I go around not rolling my eyes at the fate I get. I’ve been here long enough to know what cruelty is, and now I`m choosing not to take it anymore. I choose to fight for what’s waiting for us on the other side of these weak ass walls, I choose to fight for who is waiting for us.”</p><p>Waverly paused, feeling all the tears she had been holding back rushing out of her, cleaning her muddy soul. She walked closer to Doc, reaching for his jacket with both hands, and looking into his eyes with despair.</p><p>“I’m here now, Doc. I’m ready. I can do this, but not alone. Help me. Please, just…help me!” She said as she stumbled to the ground, unable to keep herself standing any longer.</p><p>Doc dropped to the ground, taking Waverly in her arms and placing one soft kiss on her hair. He was crying, too. </p><p>“Hey, do you remember the first days we spent here? Back then when everything was covered in ice and snow, before all this greenness around?” Doc asked as he held a sobbing Waverly. “Because I remember feeling as if I was made of guilt, as if I could not grasp any possible chance of forgiveness. I remember what you told me. You told me: “We’ve all done bad things to one another. What is important is that you came.” </p><p>Your words saved me that day. And now you are here, acting as if none of us ever gave up in our lives. It’s my turn to tell you that there is NOTHING wrong with you, baby girl. Maybe this time you’re the one being forgetful and maybe a little bit too kind. We have all given up at one point or another, and you have always been there willing to forgive us, to welcome us back. I can’t talk for the others, but I can talk for myself.”</p><p>Doc moved so he was now sitting on the ground, still holding Waverly. He raised her face gently with one hand, making sure she listened.</p><p>“I’m almost 170 years old, and I spent most of those years giving up, day after day, at the bottom of a well, so don’t expect me to be angry at you for reacting to a nightmare you never deserved. I was not always a good man, I deserved part of what I got, but I also know I chose the rest. We always end up choosing the duration of our punishments. I did nothing free myself from it, but sometimes the universe, the good Lord above, Buddha, life itself come in and give fate a little push. That was what sent the most beautiful woman to that well one day so she could take me out of my misery, so I could be free. Five years are nothing, baby girl. And time is nothing. It always starts the moment you start living. Life is still waiting for you out there, it is waiting for all of us. </p><p>As for Sheriff Haught, you know she’s as loyal as they come, and as brave as an eagle facing a storm. And you know she loves you. You know she makes mistakes, you know she can hurt you, too. We all have the capacity to love and to hurt, but that’s what makes us great, that regardless of that, we keep trying. We always try to be better for each other. We can’t be the best all the time, but as long as we keep trying, we are great always. </p><p>You have always given us all the second chances we have needed. We’ll do the same for you. </p><p>Personally, I don’t care if you didn’t do big things all this time, I know you did try. All that matters to me is that you were here, that you never left me alone. I want to do the same for you, I want to be there for you, I just need you to stop hiding, I need you start being yourself again, especially in those days you feel like giving up. Ok? Don’t worry, I can take it. You are right, you are the spirit of our family, but that doesn’t mean you have to do all the saving.”</p><p>Doc wiped Waverly’s tears with one of his sleeves. Waverly smiled.</p><p>“Now, let’s try once again, ok? And if it doesn’t work, we’ll look for something new. There’s always something new. You are right, no more giving up.”</p><p>“No more giving up.” Waverly repeated.</p><p>They stood up and took the first step home.</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong with your wings, by the way?” Doc asked, looking at the bunch of practically lifeless feathers hanging comically from Waverly’s back.</p><p>“Oh, don’t worry. They’re just drunk.”</p><p>**</p><p>The next time Waverly flew to the Garden’s gate she did it holding in her hand one feather, one fairytale and one new promise. </p><p>The next time Doc walked to his favorite place he took one shot with Wynonna’s name on his lips for the first time in years. </p><p>The booze broke through each one of Doc’s fears. The feather broke through the Garden’s walls.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My God! This took me so long to write! I hope you all liked it.</p><p>Thank you for reading. Let me know what you thought of the chapter.</p><p>See you next time! There'll be less angst, a whole lot of Wynaught and even more Nicole's POV. </p><p>Twitter: @AnEarperHeart</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Welcome to my second fic. I'm still learning, so all feedback is welcome and tresured.<br/>You can find me on Twitter @AnEarperHeart<br/>I also doodle fanart @ana_fanart</p>
<p>Thanks for reading! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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